‘At the time, critics praised its emotional weight and melodic edge. Alternative Press highlighted its “dark romanticism and cathartic intensity,” while Rolling Stone noted the band’s ability to fuse aggression with vulnerability.’
Yes, I was there. Well, I came in later, but I was very into it when I arrived. My first Stabbing Westward album was Darkest Days, which was an edited CD I picked up from Walmart. It was in heavy rotation during high school. I soon picked up their other albums: Ungod and Wither Blister Burn + Peel, as well as the self-titled album with its oddly sunnier tone.
Christopher Hall: “The idea of reimagining ‘Wither’ triggered equal amounts of excitement and trepidation for me. I know the powerful effect music has on young people.”
Oh? Do you know the effect your music had specifically on my 13-year-old brain? I think it helped me color my personality to be darker than it might’ve been otherwise. From your lyrics, I inherited an understanding of relationships inevitably going wrong in devastating ways. I absorbed concepts of addiction and depression as sexy psychodramas. Stabbing Westward had a knack for making any of the topics they addressed feel either very sexy or very dramatic – often both. I mean, they were just young people, too, who could make damn good music out of that material.
As a kid I was annoyed when adults helicoptered around anything I found interesting, admonishing me about how the stuff was rotting my brain somehow, or how these lyrics addressed topics I was too young to understand. But now, every time I look back at Stabbing Westward, I have to admit that I’ve had to undo some of their influence as I grew up. Just like I’m still reworking my understanding of Fight Club (the movie) and translating the symbolism of The Matrix into my current reality, I had to learn that relationships don’t inevitably end in devastating loss. And if it seems like they do, it’s because you’re either a man or you listen to more music written by men than women.
Sidebar. I listen to more music written by men than women. In my custom sample, the songs written by men about heartbreak tend to describe the loss as almost unbearably deep and intense. Meanwhile, women are writing lyrics about what a POS their ex was and how happy they are to be free. At least that’s the stuff I gravitate towards. It’s also been my real-life experience, both directly and indirectly. And also I’m really biased towards this premise.
Hall continues: “The music we hear in our youth imprints on our brain and our souls forever merged with the memories that they accompanied. When you hear a song it takes you back to that party or that lonely time spent in your headphones where the music was your only friend.”
No lie. I explored my own darkness in songs like “Drowning,” an atmospheric piece that inspired some angsty poetry about depression, including drafts of suicide letters. Same with the manically upbeat “When I’m Dead.”
I am not blaming Stabbing Westward for my adolescent depression. There were plenty of real life factors going into that era of “moodiness.” It was a matter of resonance. In their music I found a stylish setting for my own ruminations. A vibe, a soundtrack. There’s even a comic tinge there, since Stabbing Westward’s subject matter was a far cry from what I experienced in my small town life.
Chris Hall concludes his statement with his idea of how their music featured in the lives of their audience, during “the crazy makeout session to your best mix tape and the other mix tape for the inevitable heart break that followed. How could we ever hope to improve upon those memories? Well we can’t. And we didn’t try. We chose to create new ones. I hope everyone makes some new memories to these new songs.”
Co-founder Walter Flakus added: “These songs feel aligned with where we’re at as a band today while embracing our original industrial foundation. Some of these songs never hit the way they were intended. They do now!”
This is especially salient after he comments on how re-working “Sleep” – a song I usually skip because I don’t feel like getting into the headspace of a girl experiencing CSA – made him cry. Sidebar: It was a story they needed to tell, and someone in their audience needed to hear it. Not being directly subjected to CSA myself, I remember empathizing with the subject’s dread and rage to the point of feeling like I was also a victim.
That is a key focus when I reflect on how the scowling adults were at least a little right about my impressionable young mind. The boundaries between my direct experience and the media I consumed were porous and needed careful tending. That stewardship fell within the purview of my teachers and future self.
So here I am, trying to think critically about my experience with this band, and very much looking forward to their reinterpretation of WBB+P this year. I’m excited to add it to the soundtrack of living in this cursed dystopian timeline and imprinting it onto future memories of smashing some patriarchy.
BLOG OF RHIANNIMATOR 