Am I Evil?

Mark Manson and Drew Birnie. Great conversation on The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck Podcast episode titled “No Regrets, the Case Against Empathy, and Is AI Coming For Us All?”

Empathy: Brilliant or Bullshit?

Mark is disgusted by Netflix shows about murderers. These serve as evidence in his presentation on the case Against Empathy. He thinks we should not be manipulated into relating to psychopaths. Maybe he’s right, and maybe – to paraphrase him – he’s just old.

I don’t know if Mark is a horror fan, but I would guess from these sentiments that he’s not. The whole point of watching weird movies that polite people walk out of is because we like the practice of sitting with unusual forms of discomfort. I don’t know – I can only speak for myself, and I don’t rabidly seek out the thrill of watching uncomfortable movies unless Collider says I should.

Mark’s a metal fan – which is for many a very uncomfortable genre to hear – so it surprises me that he’s not into the horror of a scandalous Ryan Murphy-style production. In American Crime Story: the People vs. OJ Simpson, the focus is on the prosecuting team of attorneys. OJ’s just some sad supporting role. In The Assassination of Gianni Versace, I saw my shadow self blown up to the central specter of Andrew Cunanan. That was a new kind of horror experience, seeing an extreme exaggeration of my own entitlement, arrogance, envy, cruelty.

It was an illuminating horror and I’m grateful to have been confronted by it. I keep feeling like all the stories we create and share are just naturally distorted reflections of the self – any self. It’s literally all the same self, somehow. Andrew Cunanan could have been me in a parallel universe. You were him in a previous life. But Mark didn’t mention these shows. He was talking about the Menendez brothers and Jeffrey Dahmer. Empathize at your own risk. I don’t really see the harm that Mark perceives here. I don’t think anyone who watches those shows decides that serial killers are good, actually. The mindfuck experience is that they’re just people, too.

I was in the kitchen while my mom had a YouTube video going. Just passing through, what I overheard sounded like generic crazytube with a prophetess expounding on the real nature of reality and why things are the way they are now. The longer I listened the more I knew this lady was speaking my language.

Her description of spiritual warfare between light and dark energies makes sense. Lower, darker energies are “getting louder” – not stronger – as the light increases. Light workers/warriors, spiritual volunteers who have incarnated on this planet at this time for this purpose are being attacked by invading dark forces. You’ll know the difference between working with your own inner darkness and an invading sense of worthlessness if you stay in your feeling body. Discard as many distractions as you can. Take cold showers, lift weights, eat plant based whole foods.

Darkness is intelligently fighting for its survival, finding the best ways to seduce us into generating more chaos, confusion, violence. It thrives in it somehow. Don’t give it dirty corners to hide in; clean yourself up.

That’s all I know to do. I really need to start my day with yoga and a cold shower. Ugh.

I told my therapist that I wanted to ask a question in this blog: Am I Evil? I think the more accurate phrasing will be, Am I The Villain? Villains aren’t always evil, and “evil” feels extreme. I’m just talking about foolish, self-absorbed jackassery, not crimes against humanity.

Still working it out. Still somehow excited about trying to hit the same goal I’ve been setting here for around ten years, which is to post twice a week. I need to watch the next Subtle Art Podcast where they talk about resolutions and what a flawed practice it’s been as a tradition. At least I’m pretty sure that’s gonna be their angle. I can use all the help and perspective I can get.

Mark’s newsletter came out with a banger today:

Maturity is the ability to prioritize values before feelings.
The child does what feels right, the adult does what is right.

I’m tired, but I posted. I look forward to posting more blog pieces with deeper effort.

Oh, haha, just as I’m slowly clicking through the publishing process, I see this. Jon Stewart forever.