Ugh. Dude… I can’t be the only person who thinks this so-called letter from Brad Pitt to Angelina Jolie is gross. By now, a few friends have shared this turd on my Facebook feed. Of course, they all had good intentions and I understand why people find it appealing, but once you start to examine this “letter,” you’ll find it’s just a steaming pile of benevolent sexism.
“Benevolent sexism is a chivalrous attitude toward women that feels favorable but is actually sexist because it casts women as weak creatures in need of men’s protection.
“It may seem harmless, noble, or even “romantic,” but its effects can be devastating. Like hostile sexism, benevolent sexism is an ideology that supports gender inequality, and in some ways can be even more insidious.”
– UnderstandingPrejudice.org
Also, Brad Pitt didn’t write it. Just getting that out of the way.
The whole thing comes off like a weird fan-fictionesque love letter from someone with a creepy obsession with Jolie; someone with a worldview where ideally, women are fragile, delicate creatures who are sustained only through constant displays of affection. This is especially insulting when you consider how Jolie’s life is a counter example of that image: She’s gone on humanitarian missions to dangerous places all over the world like Darfur, Afghanistan, and Ecuador. I’m pretty sure she’s not doing it to get male attention.
It seems like whoever wrote this was trying to take her down a few notches, reducing her to a picture of mental illness from which she can simply be swept off her feet and rescued. It’s deeply problematic, to say the least.
Of course, that’s just the speculation of one angry, radical feminist – full disclosure and whatall. As I’ve noticed that it’s mostly women who are praising and proliferating this across my FB feed and telling guys to “pay attention,” the author could just as well have been a woman who thinks relationships could use a lot more of this fluffy band-aid bullshit – or even just giving a shout-out to the lesser of the ambivalent sexism evils.
“Whereas women are more likely than men to reject hostile sexism, they often endorse benevolent sexism — especially in countries high in hostile sexism, where male protection is most appealing.”
– UnderstandingPrejudice.org
And we think we’re sooooo progressive here in America.
I imagine part of the appeal that keeps this thing in circulation lies in the pampering bit, which might sound okay for a birthday or Valentine’s Day or whatever. Not all women would find that kind of treatment stimulating day after day, though, and certainly no woman needs such coddling to survive, as this grotesque letter seems to suggest.
There’s probably also some petty satisfaction derived in hearing that the world’s most idealized and “perfect” couple aren’t so perfect after all, and that Jolie needed to gain weight. Body-policing then becomes the shit-icing on this shit-cake (and you can make all the fat jokes you want, idgaf).
In addition to conjuring up a woman who can’t function without the endless fawning of her partner, the author offers this degrading fantasy of a successful and beautiful but malnourished superstar who can’t hold it together without a man and is an incompetent parent, to boot.
No thanks.
Oh, and then there’s this pretentious little tag at the end that we’re supposed to take as some kind of timeless wisdom: “The woman is the reflection of her man. If you love her to the point of madness, she will become it.”
LOL
No. Just… No.
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